I am Phil’s older brother Art and I wanted to say thank you in advance for your support in this endeavor.
I have a tendency to ramble… so you may want to get a beverage before proceeding.
First off I want to thank everyone who has put this together for my brother, if you have not or are not mentioned but should be blame cousin Andrew…
Ya see Andrew has been working on this for a while and is very passionate about the project, it’s progress and it’s prospects. He calls pretty regularly to let me know how and what things are going on. A typical conversation with him on this topic sorta sounds like this:
IN HALE.. goinggranttheschoolarshipsent450emailsout.. IN HALE..
MikeisrunningtheUSMCMarathonwithmenextyear.. IN HALE..
Well you get the idea. He is very excited as we all are.
It has been almost 4 months since Phil past. I can’t say that they have all been easy. I will tell you though that I am still more proud than sad. Not only of Phil but of the community that helped pay homage to him during the funeral. The images in my head are clear and detailed as if I am standing there right now. What the people of this community did for my brother was humbling and they should be EXTREMELY proud of what they have done and continue to do every day. For those that were not there you can find photos on the web I will tell you it was the most impressive display I have ever seen.
The events around my Brother’s funeral moved me to take a good look at what I have done for the place I grew up in. I felt and still feel very guilty that I had/have not given back to the community that gave my family and I so much, at least not to the degree I feel I should have.
TeamDykeman, his Blog, the Scholarship drive, the dedications are a beginning and I am glad that my cousins have taken the ball and run with it.
I don’t believe we are done here though. I don’t know how or what I will do to follow suite but I still owe.
In the coming weeks I plan on writing some stories about Phil, and encourage anyone who wants to share their stories as well for a few of reasons:
1. So his kids will know their father like I(we) did
2. For those that follow him through this scholarship
3. For us to remember and never forget
Thank you Art and Judy. Your retirement and meeting the naval Chief’s have changed my whole life. I had been training all by myself for 3 months, thinking if i could even do this Marathon. 26.2 miles is a long way. But after our trip to California, it was the first time that i felt together on the Scholarship and Marathon. I wasn’t the only one feeling these feelings of missing Captain Phil. We have just been separated by Geography. Bringing us together was great for me. This Scholarship is a lot bigger then me. Special Thanks to Mike and Holly Redwine, and to Cousin Paul Handly. Mike ran a half- Marathon, and Holly, Paul and I Ran a 5k after celebrating Art’s retirement all day long and into “The Reef”. Mike ran Hardcore. I decided to stop running interval training. I have really doubled my efforts since October 21. Team Dykeman is growing and getting a lot of support.
I have a “Can Do” attitude.
Congratulations on a strong finish at City of Oaks. I gave you the last high-five you received before crossing the line (on the right hand side, orange shirt, bib # 136). Great job on a tough course!
Thanks Bill, I appreciate it! Thank you for coming to Team Dykeman. Spread the Word.
As Promised here is the first of Many stories about my Brother Phil.. Some pre notes and such:
1. I am writing as the memories come to me not in any specific order.
2. These are my and memories and may not be the same as actual events or how anyone else remembers them.
3. I welcome enhancements to the stories, If I forgot something remind me of it.
4. I encourage everyone to write their own versions as we are trying to tell one Man’s story and no One’s story can be told by just one person.
5. I reserve the right to change any of these when ever I want.
6. If you can’t read this with out scrutinizing my writing style, spelling, grammar, or anything else that should be followed in proper literary fashion you may want to stop now.. This will probably give you fits. If you wish to be my personal editor let me know and I can send you advance copies for chop.
I am only four years older than Phil and Kathy is only 2 so our early memories are fuzzy. I don’t remember him coming home for the first time. I don’t think that our house was finished yet at this point. I have seen pictures of us three together when he got home but as I said have no recollection of it.
My first prominent memories of Phil are of him being sick. I am not talking about a cold but really sick. I am not sure about Kathy but I sure as hell didn’t understand how sick he was until very later in life. I remember he was small, I would now call him frail. He had allergies and asthma really bad. Mom spent what seemed like weeks sleeping with him for fear he would not be able to breathe. We had a futon in the family room/kitchen that they would be on. He was allergic to almost everything and anything would/could and often did set off a terrible reaction in him.
It scared me to hear him wheeze and labor to breathe. It scared me so much that all I wanted was for him to stop. He would still bring up the fact that I would threaten him if he didn’t stop wheezing or breathing loudly whenever we shared a room. Kathy will tell you that he loved to torture me with how much I picked on him when we were young and was a little proud of himself that he learned several ways to take care of his big brother if the need ever arouse again. To this day I cannot sleep if someone in the room is snoring, wheezing, or even breathing heavy.
I don’t know how long it was before he started getting shots but the attacks got fewer when he did. He had to have shots every day for a while then it went to weekly for what seemed like ever but was probably most of Elementary and Junior High school. I was gone by this time but think he was still getting shots in high school.
I will tell you I resented him a little bit because while growing up he couldn’t do anything that may set off an attack. He was allergic to almost everything so he couldn’t be around dust or pollen. Any hint of wheezing around my mom and he was protected from anything and everything. While we were young I don’t know how much he played it but in my head I know he played it. This meant that he couldn’t help clean the house (my memory wants to tell me not even his room) or help with any thing out in the yard. This left chores up to Kathy and I. Now they were not hard chores really but to a couple of kids this was not fair and I am sure you are all aware of what happens when children don’t think it is fair.
As Kathy tells it, after I had left the house and he got older our Mom had a “let him suffer” kind of attitude about it so it wouldn’t “handicap” him and almost tortured him sometimes making him mow the lawn and get him to run around. She wanted him to out grow it. When he started playing soccer she never gave him an inch to whine and would actually yell at him to “get up and cry about it later”, but that was usually after a slide tackle that would have him lying in pain and at
the chiropractor that week. Phil would look at her like she was crazy
and get up and finish the game. Kathy looks back at this as the true Boot Camp Phil went through.